龍泉山
Longquan Mountain (2018–2023)
Longquan Mountain (2018–2023)
龍泉山：0
Longquan Mountain: 0
24 Inkjet prints, 34.5×23 ㎝ each, 2018
2018 年 5 月，重度抑郁和焦虑带来的躯体化影响使我不得不休学回到广西。之后我被送进广西脑科医院，旧称龍泉山。我开始用胶片相机记录自己及周围，而这成为病人们更愿意亲近的交流方式。在后来即将离开这里的时候，我们和科室里的其他孩子一起去了公园，那一天，父母和孩子们都很开心，像其他所有快乐的家庭一样。
In May 2018, the somatic symptoms of severe depression and anxiety forced me to take a break from school and return to Guangxi. I was then admitted to Guangxi Brain Hospital (a specialized psychiatric hospital), formerly known as Longquan Mountain. I started to record myself and things around me with a film camera, which became a way for patients to open up to me. Later on, when we were about to leave, we went to the park with the other young patients in the department. It was a great day for parents and their children, as if we were no different from all the other happy families.
On view at “Refreshing”, Croft, Guilin, China, 2024
龍泉山：γ
Longquan Mountain: γ (still frame)
Single-channel HD video, black&white, stereo sound, 3’36’’, 2019
watch the video - www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FcCBImKMsE
影像中的这些波形的基础来自我入院至恢复阶段所做的七次脑电超慢涨落检查数据。其中γ值指示的是在药物治疗下在我的脑内功率持续升高的一种抑制性神经递质——γ-氨基丁酸。通过将包含它在内的共九项作用于脑内兴奋抑制功能的神经递质在不同时期所呈现的数值，分别转化为九种音调的不同音高，以时间顺序成组排列。最终得到七组，每组九音，并与最完美的标准参考值的波形对比，让大脑的失衡与变化得以从视听上被体验。
These
waveforms in the video came from the data from seven Encephalo-fluctuo-graph examinations
taken from my initial admission to later recovery in hospital. One of the gamma
values indicates an inhibitory neurotransmitter, called gamma-aminobutyric
acid, that continues to increase in available amount in my brain under
medication. The values present the figures of nine neurotransmitters with
excitatory-inhibitory functions in my central neural system at different times,
by translating them into nine classes of tones with varying pitches arranged in
chronological order. The result is seven groups, each with nine tones, which
are compared to the standard reference of perfect waveforms. In this way, the imbalances
and changes in the brain can be experienced through audial and visual
manifestation.
龍泉山：情书
Longquan Mountain: Love Letters
25×33 ㎝ , 2018
来自我在医院时，写给当时不能与我见面的男友的四封信。包含一些当天科室里发生的有趣的事，我的身体状况与情绪，以及相互鼓励的话，并期盼他最后会按照约定来见我。
Four letters I wrote to my boyfriend during my time in hospital, who was unable to meet me at the time. I wrote about interesting things that happened in the department that day as well as my physical and emotional state, and words of encouragement to each other, with the expectation that he would eventually come to see me as promised.
龍泉山：57/min
Longquan Mountain: 57/min (still frame)
Installation, single-channel HD video, color, stereo sound, 3’36’’, 2021
watch the video - www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5DmuGegXko&t=3s
我几乎失去了在2018年5月的大部分记忆
，大多数时候我都躺在床上，丧失行动能力。我总希望能够持续睡去，抗拒自己的意识。每天早晨醒来，一旦我开始察觉到自己的呼吸，身体便感到无比的难受和疼痛。我躺着就能望到房间阳台上的鱼缸，里面是我从一次自杀事故中活下来后买到的几条小鱼。我并不感到绝望，虽然对外部失去了真实感，但我知道它们在游动，外面是春天与生机。这一期间，我对人与人之间，记忆以及生命联系的感受和体觉被骤然放大。不久后它们都死去了，我则去到了一家旧称为龍泉山的脑科医院。
57/min是我在入院后，心电检查的一次读数。
装置的运动过程在模拟和具象我在病痛时的体验。玻璃水柜中的小鱼与河水作为一种外在的持续给养，透明塑料袋中的小黄鸭则象征着我自己，在利器的穿刺中被源源不断地供给生命条件所需，却最终成为一种徒劳，流速无法赶上因裂口扩大而流失的水量。
而我作为这个装置的动力之一，持续在水中向前。如今我基本维持着像常人一样的生活，但仍被疾病永恒地剥夺走了一部分。
57/min是我在入院后，心电检查的一次读数。
装置的运动过程在模拟和具象我在病痛时的体验。玻璃水柜中的小鱼与河水作为一种外在的持续给养，透明塑料袋中的小黄鸭则象征着我自己，在利器的穿刺中被源源不断地供给生命条件所需，却最终成为一种徒劳，流速无法赶上因裂口扩大而流失的水量。
而我作为这个装置的动力之一，持续在水中向前。如今我基本维持着像常人一样的生活，但仍被疾病永恒地剥夺走了一部分。
I
nearly lost most of my memories during the May of 2018. Most of the time I was
lying in bed, incapacitated. I always wanted to be able to sleep without stop
and resist my waking consciousness. Every morning when I woke up, as soon as I
started to notice my breathing, my body felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable and
constant pain. I was lying down and could still see the fish tank on the
balcony outside my room, which housed a few small fishes I bought after
surviving a suicide attempt. However, I did not feel desperate at the time. Although
I had lost my sense of reality to the outside world, I knew they were swimming
and that there were spring and life somewhere, just outside. My feelings and
somatic awareness of human connection, memory, and life were suddenly magnified
during that period. Shortly afterwards, the fishes all died, and I went to a
brain hospital formerly known as Longquan Mountain.
57/min was one of the readings taken during an electrocardiogram after I was admitted to the hospital.
The movement process of the installation simulates and embodies my experience during my illness and pain. The small fish and river water in the glass water closet act as the external, continuous sustenance, while the yellow duckling in the clear plastic bag symbolizes me, being supplied with a constant stream of water. They keep me alive through sharp punctures, but the effort is ultimately futile, for the input of water is unable to overrun the amount of water losing through the widening fissure in the plastic bag.
Nevertheless, I continue to wade forward through the river, my actions being one of the driving forces of the whole installation. Today, I mostly maintain a normal life similar to many others, yet am still eternally deprived of a portion of myself by the disease.
57/min was one of the readings taken during an electrocardiogram after I was admitted to the hospital.
The movement process of the installation simulates and embodies my experience during my illness and pain. The small fish and river water in the glass water closet act as the external, continuous sustenance, while the yellow duckling in the clear plastic bag symbolizes me, being supplied with a constant stream of water. They keep me alive through sharp punctures, but the effort is ultimately futile, for the input of water is unable to overrun the amount of water losing through the widening fissure in the plastic bag.
Nevertheless, I continue to wade forward through the river, my actions being one of the driving forces of the whole installation. Today, I mostly maintain a normal life similar to many others, yet am still eternally deprived of a portion of myself by the disease.
Cameraman: Liang Guo
On view at “Refreshing”, Croft, Guilin, China, 2024
龍泉山：母亲的心愿
Longquan Mountain: Mama’s Wishes
Performance, 7 Inkjet prints, 35×35 ㎝ each, 2021–2022
母亲始终相信我的疾病来自于一种惩罚——我曾在秋天去往北方时未按她求人算好的日子就执意出门，因而遭了不好的东西上身，她则为此持续地责备自己。
第二年春天，母亲特意找来远房亲戚中一位做摩公*的舅舅为因病回家的我做法。他向母亲要去了一件我穿过的衣服，再依据方位选取了我家附近的一处空地，点火将这件衣服烧尽，这象征着附着在我身上的不祥被除去。 此后我的枕头下、床头、门框两侧都长久地附上了摩公写好的符咒。我与母亲因此产生了许多冲突。三年后，在再次离开南方前的一个清晨，我决定效仿摩公的行为以作为对母亲的抵抗，我要烧毁这些符咒。然而在我真正看到火焰将我的上衣烧成灰烬时，我却感到了一种潜行而来的畏惧，愈加剧烈，我开始和母亲一样恐惧着厄运的发生。
*摩公：信仰壮族巫文化中的“摩教”并习得占卜、驱邪、通灵能力的老公公，这一信仰源自壮族神话中的男性创世始祖“布洛陀”，意为“知道得很多的公公”。
第二年春天，母亲特意找来远房亲戚中一位做摩公*的舅舅为因病回家的我做法。他向母亲要去了一件我穿过的衣服，再依据方位选取了我家附近的一处空地，点火将这件衣服烧尽，这象征着附着在我身上的不祥被除去。 此后我的枕头下、床头、门框两侧都长久地附上了摩公写好的符咒。我与母亲因此产生了许多冲突。三年后，在再次离开南方前的一个清晨，我决定效仿摩公的行为以作为对母亲的抵抗，我要烧毁这些符咒。然而在我真正看到火焰将我的上衣烧成灰烬时，我却感到了一种潜行而来的畏惧，愈加剧烈，我开始和母亲一样恐惧着厄运的发生。
*摩公：信仰壮族巫文化中的“摩教”并习得占卜、驱邪、通灵能力的老公公，这一信仰源自壮族神话中的男性创世始祖“布洛陀”，意为“知道得很多的公公”。
My mom always
believes that my illness came from a punishment—that one time I was possessed
by something evil when I left for the north in the fall, but not on a specific
date, one that she had consulted with divination. Therefore, she keeps blaming
herself for my misfortune.
In the spring of the following year, my mom prayed one of my distant relatives, an uncle who is a MOI gong*, to cast exorcist witchcraft on me after I returned home due to illness. He asked my mother for a piece of clothing that I had worn, chose an open space near my home according to the ritual, and then lit a fire to burn out this piece of clothing, which symbolized the removal of the ominous spirits that had previously attached to my body.
Since then, I have been living with charms with spells written by MOI gong that are fixed under my pillow, above my bed, and on both sides of the door frame. As a result, I had many conflicts with my mom. Three years later, on the morning before I left the south again, I decided to mock MOI gong's actions as a form of resistance against my mother, that I would burn the charms. However, as I really watched the flames burning my blouse to ashes, I felt a sneaking, growing shudder, and began to share her superstitious fear.
*MOI gong: the old man who believes in the Zhuang witch culture of “MOI” and has acquired the power of divination, exorcism, and psychic powers, a belief derived from the male creator of Zhuang mythology, “Baeuqloegdoz”, which means “a man who knows a lot” .
In the spring of the following year, my mom prayed one of my distant relatives, an uncle who is a MOI gong*, to cast exorcist witchcraft on me after I returned home due to illness. He asked my mother for a piece of clothing that I had worn, chose an open space near my home according to the ritual, and then lit a fire to burn out this piece of clothing, which symbolized the removal of the ominous spirits that had previously attached to my body.
Since then, I have been living with charms with spells written by MOI gong that are fixed under my pillow, above my bed, and on both sides of the door frame. As a result, I had many conflicts with my mom. Three years later, on the morning before I left the south again, I decided to mock MOI gong's actions as a form of resistance against my mother, that I would burn the charms. However, as I really watched the flames burning my blouse to ashes, I felt a sneaking, growing shudder, and began to share her superstitious fear.
*MOI gong: the old man who believes in the Zhuang witch culture of “MOI” and has acquired the power of divination, exorcism, and psychic powers, a belief derived from the male creator of Zhuang mythology, “Baeuqloegdoz”, which means “a man who knows a lot” .
龍泉山：生命树的气根
Longquan Mountain: Aerial Roots of The Tree of Life (still frame)
Performance, single-channel 4K video, color, stereo sound, 3’36’’, 2023
watch the video - https://youtu.be/51S8aAkutUA?si=InQzIvCh_roWnq8_
在桂北的部分壮族村落里，亲人会在孩子出生时请来摩公*做法，为孩子认下一棵生命树。二者由此同根相连，树木茁壮生长的气力将作用于人，在未来的病痛与劫难中带来生机。而这正是当时父母力图从病痛中拯救我的关键。他们回到祖先的林地栽下一棵小桂树，由摩公从我在祖屋的房间内牵出一根长线缠绕于枝干上使我们相认。同时挑选了一只母鸡成为我的生命鸡。我吃过几次它下的蛋后，还没能见过，它就突然死去了。
在与疾病相伴的每一刻，来自家庭的强烈意愿同地方民族信仰一并交织，力图将我从生命的倾倒中紧紧拉回，使我的身体与精神能够走向原本的期许。我用鱼钩和数根麻线将真正的自己与已然茂盛的生命树再次相连，如同植物主干向我生出的一条条气根*，以外化亲情羁绊中的拉扯以及成长中必然的“离去”。
*摩公：信仰壮族巫文化中的“摩教”并习得占卜、驱邪、通灵能力的老公公，这一信仰源自壮族神话中的男性创世始祖“布洛陀”，意为“知道得很多的公公”。
*气根：由植物地面上的茎或枝生出的不定根，暴露于空气中。具有吸收水分、支撑植物体向上生长、吸取寄主营养等功能。
在与疾病相伴的每一刻，来自家庭的强烈意愿同地方民族信仰一并交织，力图将我从生命的倾倒中紧紧拉回，使我的身体与精神能够走向原本的期许。我用鱼钩和数根麻线将真正的自己与已然茂盛的生命树再次相连，如同植物主干向我生出的一条条气根*，以外化亲情羁绊中的拉扯以及成长中必然的“离去”。
*摩公：信仰壮族巫文化中的“摩教”并习得占卜、驱邪、通灵能力的老公公，这一信仰源自壮族神话中的男性创世始祖“布洛陀”，意为“知道得很多的公公”。
*气根：由植物地面上的茎或枝生出的不定根，暴露于空气中。具有吸收水分、支撑植物体向上生长、吸取寄主营养等功能。
In some Zhuang villages north of Guangxi, the family of a new-born would have a MOI gong* come over for a religious ritual, who designates a Tree of Life to the baby. The child and their Tree of Life have since become a pair and intertwined at the very root. As life goes on, the Tree would give strength and vigor back to the person, and send in spark of hope in future sickness and misfortunes. This is key to what my parents did to save me from sickness and pain. They returned to our ancestors’ forest and planted a young laurel tree as my Tree of Life, while MOI gong drew out a thread from our ancestors’ home to entwine around the laurel’s branches with which I bond. MOI gong also chose a hen as my Hen of Life whose eggs I consumed a few, but she suddenly died before we even knew each other.
In every moment of my mental and physical illness, I was being pulled away from the fall by the weaved efforts of my family and our ethnical religion, who so wished my life could be steered toward the expected normalcy. Later, I used fishhooks and several threads of linen to re-attach myself, this time my true self, to the now blooming Tree of Life. The threads and hooks formed the aerial roots* that reached out to me from the Life’s trunk, animating the pulls and grapples of blood relations as well as my inevitable “departure” toward independence and growth.
*MOI gong: the old man who believes in the Zhuang witch culture of “MOI” and has acquired the power of divination, exorcism, and psychic powers, a belief derived from the male creator of Zhuang mythology, “Baeuqloegdoz”, which means “a man who knows a lot” .
*Aerial Roots: adventitious roots arising from stems or branches of plants above ground, exposed to the air. Functions include receiving water, supporting the upward growth of the plant, and absorbing nutrients from the host.
Cameraman: Liang Guo
生命鸡的痕迹
苞谷、鸡毛、蛋壳、松针、麦秸草帽
41.5×41.5×14.5 ㎝
2023
Traces of The Hen of Life
Maize, chicken feathers, egg shells, pine needles, straw hat
41.5×41.5×14.5 ㎝
2023
苞谷、鸡毛、蛋壳、松针、麦秸草帽
41.5×41.5×14.5 ㎝
2023
Traces of The Hen of Life
Maize, chicken feathers, egg shells, pine needles, straw hat
41.5×41.5×14.5 ㎝
2023
鸡咕咕的故事
Story of Chick Gu Gu (still frame)
Short documentary, 15’42’’, 2023, mandarin
Producer: Liang Guo, Zhouzou
Director& Cinematographer& Editor: Liang Guo
Screenwriter& Key Cast: Zhouzhou
watch the video - https://youtu.be/fJe4JmEU4-g
(with english subtitles)
纪录短片《鸡咕咕的故事》拍摄于《龍泉山：生命树的气根》创作期间，大体勾勒了周周与土地的情感联结及家庭命运的起源。
The
short documentary Story of Chick Gu Gu, shot during Longquan
Mountain: The Aerial Roots of the Tree of Life, is a general account of
Zhouzhou’s bonds to the land and the origin of her family’s fate.
同名个展
周周：龍泉山（2023）
solo exhibition of the same title
“Zhouzhou: Longquan Mountain”, 2023, White Field, Beijing, China
“最初，《龍泉山》只是一段本能的摄影行为的经验，出现在我因精神疾病休学返乡并进入脑科医院生活的时期。摄影在当中变得十分简单，它成为了我与外界进行交互、恢复认识的发生装置。“龍泉山”三个字是这间医院在当地的旧称。环绕在外的人们以为，进入龍泉山将使他们走入社会中一个失常的世界，而当中的我们又依靠这份透明的隔阂得到了平静，不愿离开。
《龍泉山》的叙事在时空中有两个流向，一是我继续向前的当下，另一则是在创作中的不断回溯。离开医院后，这一系列的创作转向了声音、装置、行为与录像等多媒介的表达。我试图回到过去的时刻，找寻遗漏的感知和细节，织补完整的记忆。以构建在我生命的倾倒与拯救过程中的种种面向——感官与意识在生理上的撕裂，亲情关系中的纠缠，以及地方精神信仰的参与。诚然，这种尝试依然是带有缺失的，如同我已彻底变化的大脑一般。”
《龍泉山》的叙事在时空中有两个流向，一是我继续向前的当下，另一则是在创作中的不断回溯。离开医院后，这一系列的创作转向了声音、装置、行为与录像等多媒介的表达。我试图回到过去的时刻，找寻遗漏的感知和细节，织补完整的记忆。以构建在我生命的倾倒与拯救过程中的种种面向——感官与意识在生理上的撕裂，亲情关系中的纠缠，以及地方精神信仰的参与。诚然，这种尝试依然是带有缺失的，如同我已彻底变化的大脑一般。”
“To begin with, Longquan Mountain was only
fragments of experiences where I took
photographs on instinct. They occurred when I took a leave from college,
returned to my hometown, and was admitted to a mental hospital. Photography
became natural in the process and formed a mechanism through which I interacted
with the world and regained cognitive functions. ‘The Longquan Mountain’ was an
old nickname known to the locals. Those who lived around believed through the
Longquan Mountain people enter a world of abnormality. Meanwhile, we the
patients received peace within the transparent walls of the asylum and were
reluctant to leave.
The overall narrative of Longquan Mountain flows into two directions: moving forward from the present; going back throughout the creative process. Upon leaving the hospital, I shifted my focus onto sound, installation, performance, video, and other multi-medium expressions. I tried to revisit moments of the past, retrieve lost sensations and details, and restore memories. My intention is to confront what I went through in my experience of collapse and salvation—the schism between sense and sensation, the grapples of blood relation, and the interference of indigenous faith. Honestly, my attempts were not perfect, flawed even, just like my forever-altered brain.”
The overall narrative of Longquan Mountain flows into two directions: moving forward from the present; going back throughout the creative process. Upon leaving the hospital, I shifted my focus onto sound, installation, performance, video, and other multi-medium expressions. I tried to revisit moments of the past, retrieve lost sensations and details, and restore memories. My intention is to confront what I went through in my experience of collapse and salvation—the schism between sense and sensation, the grapples of blood relation, and the interference of indigenous faith. Honestly, my attempts were not perfect, flawed even, just like my forever-altered brain.”
